What Friendship Asks of Us

Friendship is easy at the beginning and difficult in the middle. At the start you have everything in common: the same class, the same job, the same street. Nothing has to be arranged, because you are already in the same room.

Then people move. Jobs change, families start, and the shared room disappears. What is left is the part that has to be chosen.

I have learned that the choosing is the whole thing. A friendship survives on small, unglamorous acts: the message you send when you remember something, the call you make when you would rather not, the visit that costs you a weekend.

Nobody talks about this because it does not sound like affection. It sounds like admin. But affection that is never turned into action is just a warm feeling about someone you no longer know.